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If I usually do not want to pursue the relationship more than experimenting, I usually do a couple of things. First, I would usually just cut off the "constant" communication. If she texted me a lot during the day, I would usually just not respond and maybe text her once of twice a day. I would also make sure I tell her that I am not looking for a relationship and I'm just having fun. Knowing this, I have done my part and addressed my intentions for the relationship between me and her. I also might decline an invitation for us to go out and say I'm busy with something if she is persistent after telling her my intentions.
Usually if I want to take the relationship to the next level I will do several things. First, I would usually diagnose the situation and make sure that she even acts like she wants to take it to the next level. I would make sure everything is going great and the relationship is still intensifying. After my observations I would start to use "we" communication. If she is accepting of this communication, I would then start to bring up intentional conversations about "us" going to the next level. I would make sure I put across my full intentions and put my true feelings on the table.
I think you can tell the relationship is intensifying by little actions; eye contact, touch, and just body language in general. If the partner seems more open and loving as time goes on, then I think that is a great sign that the relationship is progressing.

Facebook "Social deception"

I have distorted my self presentation online but not to look more appealing, I have done it so it enables more conversation assumptions rather than label assumptions. I am not a label, therefore I really don't put any labels on my page. I am a unique individual and don't want to be stereotyped because I go to college or because I work at a certain place. I think by labeling yourself on the internet you really limit yourself on the people you meet.

Passion Reflection

How has passion changed over time in your romantic relationships?

Passion changes all the time in all of my romantic relationships I have had. They usually have the same pattern of HOT, very warm, warm, cool, cooler, and then dull. Like the text says, it is normal to have that happen with passion. In the relationship I am in now, I am now experiencing the companionship aspect of passion. It is very new to me and exciting and I love it. I feel that when you enter a long term relationship the couple will make efforts to keep passion alive. The relationship I am in now has not been the same of all my other relationships and that in itself is very exciting.

 Have these changes influenced your communication toward your partners?

Changes in passion have definitely influenced the way I communicate with my partners. In the beginning of a relationship it is very flirtatious and lovey dovey. When the relationship progresses, I start to use comfort communication and compassionate communication with my partner. Also as the relationship progresses I start to use “we” and “us” language which displays more companionship.

 Is passion a necessary component of romance, or is it possible to have a romantic relationship without frequent passion?

I think life is passion, which is always exciting and amazing. Therefore I have to conclude that passion is necessary for a romantic relationship.I say this because a person pursues a romantic relationship because they are looking for a companion or a life partner. However, I do think that in order to enjoy the passion in life you must be aware of all the things and possibilities around you to enjoy the passion. I feel that most people assume the passion is supposed to hop in their lap, when really, they should be looking for it. Passion dies when you become lazy ;).

Listening Assignment

I started off by actually taking the quiz on page 165 to figure out what my, "listening style" really is. After taking the quiz, I realized that I am a very good hybrid of three of the listening styles. I seemed to have gotten a four score on the; people-oriented, action-oriented, and content oriented listeners. I find these three orientations of listening to be very effective because I feel it brings the opportunity of learning something to its fullest potential. When you are people orientated, you help make the other person feel as comfortable as possible to have a dialogue. I feel that the action-orientated aspect of listening has its pros and cons. For the pros I feel as it's a great way to get the conversation moving along. The con however, I feel that it can offend people and cause noise pollution for the dialogue.

I also qualified to be a content-oriented listener. I love listening to facts and having intellectual conversations. I feel that opinions should be supported by facts, which is what content actually is. I love probing questions at people so I can figure out a new perspective on things. The con of content oriented listening would be that some people might get bored or annoyed by the questioning. Some people have different passions than others, but it is the job of the communicator to recognize the situation and base their communication moves from there. The one oriented skill I did not qualify for was the time oriented listener.  I never really tell my fellow communicator how much time I have to talk. I feel that it is rude to do so. I find myself being very calm and patient when talking to someone. If I find the need to get out of a conversation, I usually find a moment to transition out and leave the conversation in a polite way. The con of NOT being a time oriented person is that I might get in a long conversation and forget some other obligation I had to complete. The conversation could also get very circular and repetitive.

All in all I am not surprised on how I placed on this quiz. This is just another quiz to raise my awareness on who I am and how I communicate with others.

Communication Awkwardness

Well, I decided that I would do the awkward communication moment for this project. I didn't know where I was going to do it so I finally just decided at my job. One of my managers was working and I knew she would be a perfect target for the project. When I first talked to her, I just communicated with her normally. After about an hour into working, I finally decided to initiate the project. I started by just getting really close to her face while I was talking, you could tell by her facial reactions that she felt very uncomfortable in the situation. She kept smiling as well, but you could tell that she was smiling because she did not know what else to do. I then proceeded to take it to the next level and breath heavily/awkwardly when I was around her. This was really hard to do because I wanted to laugh so hard. She just kept laughing and smiling while I was trying to have a normal conversation with her. I eventually went back to normal and explained everything to her.

I noticed that laughing and smiling can be a non-verbal defense mechanism to feel comfortable in a situation. It's amazing how just the distance between two people communicating can really disrupt the process itself. I also find it peculiar that some cultures talk in really close personal bubbles. I now know if I want to make somebody feel really awkward all I have to do is get in their bubble ;).